Introduction

Hi, my name is Maddie, I am a 53 year old transgender woman living in New Zealand.  My transition journey started in 2018 when, after years of feeling I was not being true to myself, after surviving a few health scares, experiencing the loss of family and pets I took the first steps to understanding why I felt this way and worked with therapists to get over the shame I had about wanting to be a woman.

I had cross-dressed since about 10 years old, married at 21, my wife, Fran, was aware of my feelings and was always of the opinion that I should do what makes me feel good, but she was not sure of her feelings should I actually transition, and I thank her for taking this stance and being there for me - she really is one in a million.  My job was professional, often stressful and I suffered from imposter syndrome on many occasions, scared that I would be uncovered as a fraud and even worse, that someone would find out I like to dress in women's clothing, which I used to do quite often at the end of the day at home or in a motel if away for work, and it just felt right.

I started hormone replacement therapy in 2019 and came out to the world in March 2020.  Most people had no idea.  I had no idea I hid it so well.  

I legally changed my name and presented as female from that day forward, and haven't looked back to be honest.

In 2022 I underwent Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) at Phuket Plastic Surgery Institute.  Fran and I had separated, but remain very much in each other's lives, and she accompanied me as my support person on this trip.  To be honest I wouldn't have had anyone else with me to be the voice of reason, understand what makes me work and be my voice when I wasn't sure what I wanted. 

This blog will detail the experience and provide some background as to how I arranged this surgery.

Feel free to comment, ask any questions or email me, I'm very open to questions!

If you want to jump to the video overview of this entire blog then it's the last post, or click here